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I am eight years old.

My lips are perfectly pink. They don't need to look glossy or tinted redder. My cheeks don't need this, either. My eyes stand out well enough on their own without being lined with black paint. The mascara weighs on my lashes and makes me tired and itchy. This shit on my eyelids shouldn't be there, either.

That was a bad word. I am afraid to say bad words, but I've got a few in my head. My friend told me that the word "bitch" means "female dog," but I think she's wrong. I don't think I've ever heard it used in this context. Actually, I think it's a word for people like you. I say this to you with my eyes.  You threaten me because you hear me loud and clear.

Every other weekend, I have to sit here and endure as you put this shit on my face. But that's not why you're a bitch. That's why you're an idiot. What makes you a bitch is the fact that you expect me to be silent and still every time your hand slips and the curling iron burns the top of my ear, or you make a mistake and have to pull a fine comb through my hair that you've already soaked in hairspray, or you accidentally pinch my eyelid with the eyelash curler.

But most of all, it's when you tell me that it's all my mom's fault that you have to do this. Because my mom thinks it's okay that I don't learn about this stuff right now. My mom thinks I'm perfect the way I am. Yes, I suppose it is my mom's fault that I am the way I am, because my mom knows I'm eight years old, you dumb bitch.

I don't tell you this. I am silent and still, letting you turn me into this walking parade float in a fat, itchy dress, socks with lace that gives me rashes, and panty hose that rides up my crotch. Yes, and then once I look "halfway decent," as you call it, we go somewhere, like church, where I am a fucking freak. You've successfully made it impossible for me to make any friends.

Did you ever stop to notice that the other children aren't wearing mascara? Yet you treat them better than me. I think it's because they're actually happy, and you know it. You didn't do this to your own children. Sure, they paint themselves up like this now. But I've seen the sun-stained pictures. No whores there. Just smiling, freckle-faced children in T-shirts and shorts. They look halfway decent to me. Didn't they look that way to you?

Oh that's right. It's different with me. You have to rescue me, don't you? Because no one else will. Because you're a good mother. You've popped out three children, while my mother only has me. Well that makes you a goddamn fucking expert, doesn't it? You tell me all about it. Every other weekend. You know how to raise children. You'll show her, won't you?

I've got news for you. It takes my mom hours to undo what you've done to me every time I get home. This Sunday, she'll wash this shit off my face and untangle my hair. But she won't undo your lessons. Every time someone hurts me, I'll be silent and still and nobody will know my pain. I'll learn to be strong. Thanks to you, I'll even learn such poise and composure that I could shed a tear right in front of someone's eyes and they'll never notice.

But you know what? You'll never convince me that you're a good mother - a better mother. I am eight years old. I'm not your doll. And you're a pathetic piece of shit.
Sometimes I still feel like I'm eight years old. I used to constantly fantasize about what I'd go back and say. I'm trying to get over it.

Edit:

I just happened to be on the site when the DD happened... I just ran around the house going, "Oh my god, oh my god!" over and over. Although I have had a DD before (for a suggestion), I never thought that I would ever, ever be recognized for my writing or art on this site for any reason, because every day I am just so overwhelmed by the other, greater talent I am surrounded by. So, thank you very much, I can't even tell you how happy this made me.


About the cursing:

I thought curse words (in my head) when I was little, but I was always afraid to say them. But, the reason I have cursing in the writing is because I am not really writing this from the perspective of an eight year old. I wrote it from the perspective of a twenty-something year old that sometimes still feels like she's eight years old.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-22
I am eight years old. by ~etherealism is a "stark, powerful recounting" (suggester's words). ( Suggested by LadyofGaerdon and Featured by neurotype )
:iconviol-dove-teshire:
Viol-Dove-Teshire Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Student Writer
This is breathtaking.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner May 15, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you. :)
Reply
:iconmeggthomas:
MeggThomas Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, this piece really resonates. It reaches through the screen into the heart and the brain.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for saying so. :hug:
Reply
:iconmeggthomas:
MeggThomas Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Your very welcome 😉
Reply
:iconvanillaswimmer:
VanillaSwimmer Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I've always admired this for its emotion and how very true it is. :)
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
:D
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
wow, that was amazing! a true work of literature right here! ^^
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you. <3 I read your DD the other day. Congrats!
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome :hug:
 ahh i thought i recognized that screen name :D thanks! <3 I just happened to be scrolling through dA and i saw your prose and the name intrigued me so i read it ^-^
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Well thanks for stopping by. :D I also had a look at your traditional art, too, the other day. It was good! =D
Reply
:iconsurrealnacre:
SurrealNacre Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Sure thing :D and thanks! :hug: :) have a llama badge ^^
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Dec 24, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
You too! :llama:
Reply
:icononeverylostsoul:
OneVeryLostSoul Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Well written words of truth to all the idiots who act this way. May they recognize the error of their ways while they read it.
Reply
:icontwerpthederp:
Twerpthederp Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This. Is. Great. No words! (except for the ones I'm typing, im a reble to my own irony.)
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Haha, thank you! :D
Reply
:icontwerpthederp:
Twerpthederp Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
No problem!
Reply
:iconbloodtheshinyabsol:
BloodTheShinyAbsol Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014
Wow.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Sep 25, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
:wow:
Reply
:iconbloodtheshinyabsol:
BloodTheShinyAbsol Featured By Owner Sep 26, 2014
XD
Reply
:iconirishgirl217:
irishgirl217 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist
this is so powerful
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
So is a tiny little comment like that, believe it or not. Thank you! :heart:
Reply
:iconirishgirl217:
irishgirl217 Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2014  Hobbyist
aw, no problem! 
Reply
:icondangerousomega:
DangerousOmega Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
It truly left me speechless.I love how you wrote it!
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much. :hug:
Reply
:icondangerousomega:
DangerousOmega Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
You are welcome!Neko Emoji-37 (Yay) [V2] 
Reply
:iconknight-of-insanity:
Knight-Of-Insanity Featured By Owner Aug 13, 2014  Student General Artist
That was beautiful~! 
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
You're beautiful. :flirty:
Reply
:iconknight-of-insanity:
Knight-Of-Insanity Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2014  Student General Artist
ewe oh stop it you, you're beautiful too~
Reply
:icondjdiscord626:
DJdiscord626 Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Omg... I love this... I've wanted to say this to some people (not my mom I love my mom) my entire life but I was always to scared... You are amazing! 
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Jun 13, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much. I love my mom too - I don't know if you noticed, but this was about my stepmom. =) Always glad to hear someone understands.
Reply
:icondjdiscord626:
DJdiscord626 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Yeah I figured it was something like that I had a relationship like that with my grandmother at one point I hid in the closet and wouldn't come out lol! But we've made amends now were not very close but we get along fine. (Sorry it took so long to reply I was at my dads)
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Hey sometimes it takes me months to reply on here. No prob. :)
Reply
:icondjdiscord626:
DJdiscord626 Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks ;) (Wink) 
Reply
:iconalumifish:
AlumiFish Featured By Owner May 7, 2014  Student Writer
Beautiful. That's the only word that can describe this. ninufaa said it better than I did... XD
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner May 15, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much! =D
Reply
:iconknightwithoutasmile:
KnightWithoutASmile Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014
I love it, there's so much hate surrounded by so much love, just beautiful.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
Thanks, that's true. :D
Reply
:iconninufaa:
ninufaa Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014
This was just amazing.
No, seriously.
The way you just express everything so fluently, like a current of emotion, makes me envious of how free your feelings ooze out from the words, because I sure as hell can't do what you just did.
The vocabulary you put in at first confused me, and then I simply found myself immersed in the whole thing, as if there was no age to categorize, simply the person in question.
I especially congratulate you in the ending, given how angry and yet flippant you are to the "bad mother" in question, how you effectively just throw all that she forces against you to the four winds while changing the painfulness of it into a sort of life lesson.
Completely beautiful in a plain and nearly innocent raunchiness that makes me either want to laugh or fume in a corner as I plot terrible ways to dismember the "bad mother".
Kudos.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Feb 19, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I saw this as soon as you wrote it, but am just answering now. I don't know why but I always get nervous when replying to such a good comment, when really a simple "thank you" would suffice. So thank you!
Reply
:iconninufaa:
ninufaa Featured By Owner Feb 24, 2014
I understand completely how you feel about long-drawn complements compliments, so its alright!:) (Smile) 
I'm already humbled that you wished to thank ME for liking your work and I'm very pleased that you took your time to read my comment, as long and rapid-fire as it was.:happybounce: 
Reply
:icondabair:
DaBair Featured By Owner Jan 21, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This is about stage parents, I guess. Stage parents sicken me.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
It's about my stepmother. She wasn't a "stage parent" per se, but she did dress me up like a stage child every other weekend for church. I'm sure stage children could relate.
Reply
:iconaurora-celest:
aurora-celest Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013
This piece just me makes me want to take a dull, burning sip of wine, close my eyes, and just let my mind roam throughout the essay, tasting and borrowing these snippets of your memories. This is amazing, it truly is. In fact, it's so amazing that DA has decided to use this piece as one of its examples for the "Emotional" writing category. A late congratulations to you, madam. You've most certainly deserved the recognition you received from this.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Nov 7, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you very much. It's never too late to appreciate something nice said about your work. =D
Reply
:iconamiabletogether:
Amiabletogether Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
This is great!
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
You're great!
Reply
:icongothfoxgirl:
Gothfoxgirl Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013
:clap: very beautiful and so full of expression. nice job with the cussing. keep writing this stuff its great.
Reply
:iconstacybasye:
StacyBasye Featured By Owner Jul 3, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Thank you. :aww:
Reply
:iconhaymakers:
haymakers Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Professional General Artist
This reminds me of a lot of things. It's cliche to say but I will anyway~ it's comforting to know I'm not alone in that feeling but at the same time I feel bad anyone ever had to go through a moment like this as a kid :/
Reply
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